What a great night!! My friends around my age have been considering to start up a business like I have. I'm really enthusiastic to discuss management more and more with them.
After
I've been out of Japan for long, I haven't been able to blend in in Japan. I
tried really hard to maintain my identity and get accoustomed to foreign culture
so that I could mix what I want to keep from my experience. I think I'm pretty
much petriotic. As I have to debate with non Japanese, I always support Japan. I
never hesitate that. But Japan doesn't let me blend in. I look Japanese, so I'm
not allowed to be black sheep. What the heck is that?
I talked about that
with a german lady having lived in Japan for 7 years and she has been feeling
the same way. She did the same thing I did to keep her identity and create
herself. "We are no longer same as them. We have been through much different
stuff from what they've been through. They can't understand us."
It felt
right. The feelings I couldn't explain well have gone after that. I'll stop
bitching about that from now on.
Today, you never know when you
get involved into politics in the company and you might have to exit... I gotta
get ready to start up my own business no matter when it is. My boy, C works as
a medical doctor as well as he has been pursue an MBA. I think I should watch
"The Secret of My Success" to motivate myself!!
A friend of mine told me about long distance relationships
that He called it "Nearby at 50% than Far away at 100%" theory. In short, you
tend to get more attracted to a nice person living by you who you like a bit
than a person living far away who you like a lot. This is my 9th year to live
abroad. I totally agree with his theory.
When you get older, you will feel bothered to have
relationships. Once you have enough experience and financial situation, you will
be able to enjoy yourself alone. When it comes to a marriage, even if you meet a
nice girl, you would think Miss A was like her or Miss B was better than her.
You would always compare her with past relationships, then you will be in a
vicious circle not to propose her.
This chick I met in May got me hooked on her. lol I
thought she would like to be controlled but I was controlled... So lame lol But it's not
so bad to be taken over control. I'm wondering if I'm hooked by only difficult girls.
lol
Noviembre Sin Ti by
Reik
Noviembre Sin Ti
La tarde se aleja, el cielo esta gris la noche aparece sin
ti, callado en la playa te lloro en silencio otra vez me ahoga esta pena
no puedo vivir las olas no me hablan de ti sentado en la playa escribo tu
nombre otra vez Por que te extrano desde aquel noviembre cuando sonamos
juntos en querernos siempre , me duele este frio noviembre cuando las
hojas caen a morir por siempre Noviembre sin ti es sentir que la lluvia me
dice llorando que todo acabo, noviembre sin ti es pedirle a la luna que
brille en la noche de mi corazon otra vez ...otra vez Quisiera decirte que
quiero volver tu nombre va escrito en mi piel ya es de madrugada te sigo
esperando otra vez por que te extrano desde aquel noviembre cuando sonamos
juntos a querernos siempre me duele , este frio noviembre cuando las
hojas caen a morir por siempre... Noviembre sin ti es sentir que la lluvia
me dice llorando que todo acabo noviembre sin ti es pedirle a la luna que
brille en la noche de corazon otra vez... otra vez...
November Without You
The afternoon is fading, the sky is grey The night
appears without you Quiet on the beach I cry for you in silence once
more I am drowning in this pain...I can’t live the waves don’t tell me
about you Sitting on the beach I write your name again Because I miss you
from that November When we dreamed together to love forever It hurts me,
this cold November When the leaves fall to die forever November without
you is to feel that the rain is tearfully telling me that it's all
over November without you is to ask the moon To shine in the night of my
heart Once more...once more... I would like to tell you that I want to go
back Your name is written on my skin Already it is dawn I’m waiting
again Because I miss you from that November When we dreamed together to
love forever It hurts me, this cold November When the leaves fall to die
forever November without you is to feel that the rain is tearfully telling
me it's all over November without you is to ask the moon To shine in the
night of my heart Once more...once more...
The teacher with a tattoo. I said good bye to her in early Spring.
This chick lived in a different country. She was a sort of a friend with benefit, which I was thinking like that. But she
didn't.
She texted me everyday asking me what I was doing. She
posted bunch of things on Facebook. She called me through Facetime every night.
I was thankful for being liked by her, but it was a bit too much and I didn't
think she and I would work out fine, so I tried to slow her down, then she
snapped...
Endless texts saying how awful I was... Never ending calls
telling me how irresponsible I was... Swear, swear, and swear...
I went a massage place in Bangkok and chose a girl. She was preparing some stuff for the massage singing Stranger In The Night by Frank Sinatra. I was like the song in here?! lol and her English was so American!!
Me: You don't have any Thai accent in your English.
Her: You speak English? I was raised in NY and my dad is American.
Me: Are you kidding? I lived there too.
Her: Seriously? I'm so happy speaking American English with you. It's been ages.
Me: Why the heck do you work here?
Her: I'm a nympho and a free lance writer collecting something to wright lol
She was so relaxed and kept telling me about her. She started talking about her scars on her back and chest.
Her: These are from tattoo removals. Jim Morison on my chest and The Strokes on my back.. My previous work environment was so I had to get them removed. But I got fired because I fucked my boss at the office.
This crazy girl got me interested in her.
Her: What are up to after here? Wanna go listen to some Jazz because my grandpa owns a Jazz bar. You are cute. I can go out with you tonight.
Me: Thanks. But Can you?
Her: I told you lol I'm not here for money lol for something to write.
Me: Sorry. I've got some plans tonight. Let's go another time.
I gave her my cell number, but I was kind of scared and lost interests in her. I ignored messages from her.
She lives freely like Amy Winehouse. I hope she is still alive.
I didn't update my blog for 2 months because there are millions happening. It was so called one of milestones in my life. When you are stuck or struggling with something horrible, you will think "Why me?", but generally it won't last for a year. Now all of my concerns in my personal and business lives are going well. It made me realize that during maiden voyage, satisfactory voyage, storm and clam in your life, no matter what happens to you, your real friends are always around to be on your side.
How do you define a date? Going for nice dinner with the opposite sex? It seems that it is a date for Japanese men and it is not a date for Japanese women. It's a case that a girl might not put out even if she comes over to your place for your home made dinner and nice wine with a conversation about your past relationships. Wouldn't it make you expect a sexy time with her?
When I have cardio exercises, I have been listening to EDM, but I was in the mood for Paradise Garage mixed by Larry Levan today. I know I like this kind of music and it's a sort of the root of my favorite music. I wish I can live in NYC again.
Let's Call The Whole Thing Off by Louie Armstrong & Ella Fitzgerald
After watching When Harry Met Sally, I miss talking to girls. I texted some
girls, but only 2 girls working at piano bars texted me back. It fulfilled me
though. lol
OST of the movie is really cool. It has some of my favorites.
Things
have come to a pretty pass
Our romance is growing flat,
For you like this
and the other
While I go for this and that,
Goodness knows what the
end will be
Oh I don't know where I'm at
It looks as if we two will never
be one
Something must be done:
You say either and I say either,
You
say neither and I say neither
Either, either neither, neither
Let's call
the whole thing off.
You like potato and I like potato
You like tomato
and I like tomato
Potato, potato, tomato, tomato.
Let's call the whole
thing off
But oh, if we call the whole thing off
Then we must
part
And oh, if we ever part, then that might break my heart
So if you
like pajamas and I like pajamas,
I'll wear pajamas and give up
pajamas
For we know we need each other so we
Better call the whole thing
off
Let's call the whole thing off.
You say laughter and I say
laughter
You say after and I say after
Laughter, laughter after
after
Let's call the whole thing off,
You like vanilla and I like
vanilla
You sarsaparilla, and I sarsaparilla
Vanilla vanilla chocolate
strawberry
Let's call the whole thing off
But oh if we call the whole
thing of then we must part
And oh, if we ever part, then that might break my
heart
So if you go for oysters and I go for oysters
I'll order oysters
and cancel the oysters
For we know we need each other so we
Better call
the calling off off,
Let's call the whole thing off.
This
is directed by Rob Reiner who also directed Stand By Me. I love the movies set
in NY. NY and Jazz match perfectly. I like the movies that have good scripts
like Before Sunrise.
"Harry Burns: I love that you get cold when it's 71
degrees out. I love that it takes you an hour and a half to order a sandwich. I
love that you get a little crinkle above your nose when you're looking at me
like I'm nuts. I love that after I spend the day with you, I can still smell
your perfume on my clothes. And I love that you are the last person I want to
talk to before I go to sleep at night. And it's not because I'm lonely, and it's
not because it's New Year's Eve. I came here tonight because when you realize
you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your
life to start as soon as possible."
When you sleep with a chick and your
pillow smells of her perfume. It turns you on, doesn't it?
"To Rome with Love" by Woody Allen finally came up in Japan. I like "You
Will Meet a Tall Dark Stranger" the most out of the latest 3 movies set in
Europe by him. Men are simple, sore loser, too much proud and always want to get
girls. A man Woody Allen describes in his movies is always like
that.
Power of Ten reminded me of the topic I had at Spice
Market by Jean Georges in Meat Packing District with a 36 year old bohemian
lady when I lived in NYC.
The color I really see cannot be shared with other by
photos.
The brown color of the table I see here cannot be same as
the color you see.
This was the beginning and we went deeper and deeper. Then
she told me this movie, What The Bleep Do We Know?. I don't like the spiritual part in the movie, but Qualia
is always get me hooked on Philosophy.
久しぶりにEamesのPower
of Tenでも観ようかな。 自分のちっぽけさと宇宙の壮大さで大抵のことはどうでもよくなるね！ 結局は、気にしない、気にしない！！
I
tried looking posh by decorating Scandinavian interior in my college days such
as Ant chair & 7 chair by Jacobson, Table by Tendo Mokko, Fabrics by
Marimekko, Glasses by Iittala, Tableware by Sori Yanagi, etc. I have moved
every 4 years after my college graduation. I'm not able to collect good
furniture. food, clothing and shelter hasn't been fulfilling me. It's kind of
stressful. I watch Power of Ten by Eames when I feel like that. It makes
me feel that you are a way too tiny and the universe is a way too huge. I don't
have to think about anything that worries me or makes me stressed out. Overall, I
don't give a shit!!
This
book is about Buddhism philosophy by Tetsuya Miyazaki. Buddhism is suitable to
me among all philosophy. I like the idea of Madhyamaka. You will
understand the Buddhism spread in Japan is how different from the original
buddism and what religions are. It tells you about Schopenhauer as well, which
is very interesting.
「生きる目的は、金でもなければ財でもない。名誉でもなければ地位でもない。人生苦悩の根元を断ち切られ、〝よくぞ人間に生まれたものぞ〟と生命の歓喜を得て、未来永遠の幸福に生きること」 By
親鸞
「生きているんだったら、なにはともあれ楽しまなきゃ！生きる目的は自己満足！」 By 僕
Into The Wild(2008)
While
I was thinking I would write about Into The Wild for the next blog entry,
one of my favorite bloggers, Tom just posted about Into The Wild. Tom is
very wise and has wide knowledge. His blog is a really fun to subscribe. He
calls himself a virginal geek but he must be popular. He was liked by local
Thai chicks and they put him out at their place. It proves he is a popular
guy. We have common hobbies like music, girls, fashion and architechture,
which makes me not be able to wait for an update of his blog.
Into
The Wild is about a nonfiction based on a young guy pursing his
happiness. "Happiness is real when shared" I was chatting with a
French girl and a friend over brunch. The subject started with politic
corruption switched to a definition of happiness. She defined "To have
somebody to share things you like with". I was impressed she is from Europe
where has already had mental happiness. Although ental happiness was
exported to EU and US as New Age, material happiness has been around in
Asian cities. In other words, the economic has been growing in
Asia.
Work-Life balance is quite low in Japan and the economic
situation is totally different from other Asian cities. Ther are only some
negative terms like Working poverty and Coporate slaves. We used to had
positive terms for Japanese Internet ventures, which gave young people a
dream.
When I was a unemployed kept man and I was asked what I did for
living by girls, I answered I was unemployed. The girls didn't talk to me
after the answer. Is it an evil if you don't produce anything for the
society? Heman beings are intelligent so we tend to find reasons or purposes
for everything. To find the meaning of life is a common subject that a lot
of philosophists have worked on.
"The meaning of life is meaningless
by" Tolstoy.
"The meaning of life is not money, wealth, honor and
positions. It's to cut off suffering of life and realize I'm pleased that I
was born as a human being and try living happily forever." by
Shinran
"If you are alive, no matter what happens to you, you gotta enjoy
your life as fuck!! The meaning of life is to achive self-fulfillment!!" by
Me
Daylight turns to moonlight and I'm at my best Praising the way it all
works gazing upon the rest The cool before the warm The calm after the
storm I wish to stay forever letting this be my food But I'm caught up in
a whirlwind and my ever changing moods
Bitter turns to sugar some call a
passive tune But the day things turn sweet for me won't be too soon The
hush before the silence The winds after the blast I wish we'd move together
this time the bosses sued But we're caught up in the wilderness
and an ever changing mood
Teardrops turn to children who've never
had the time To commit the sins they pay for through another's evil
mind
The love after the hate The love we leave too late I wish we'd wake up
one day an' eveyone feel moved But we're caught up in the dailies
and an ever changing mood
Evil turns to statues and masses form a
line But I know which way I'd run to If the choice was mine
The past
is knowledge the present our mistake And the future was always leave too
late I wish we'd come to our senses and see there is no truth In those who
promote the confusion for this
The last blog entry brought me back about this song, Come
To Me by Clazziquai Project. They are Korean Canadian that a Japanese DJ
produced in Japan as well 6 or 7 years ago. The song is about love at the first
sight in a club. I really want to meet the girls who like dancing, but most
of them I've met are foreigners. N who I met at an event from NY always danced nicely and beautifully But she got married to a guy dating her for long. She won't dance
with me anymore. I went clubbing with a Black French who likes Salsa and Bachata
and we went back my place together. She told me that if I'm not serious, I
shouldn't contact her. She cut me out of her life. D and I had a New Year Party
and went to a bar with Thai female companions for male customers because
we wanted to drink with girls who are fun to be around. We had a blast but it
cost USD 500... Reality Bites... Come To Me by Clazziquai Project
It's been 10 years since I last read "Rose Tree, Loquat
Tree and Lemon Tree" by Ekuni Kaori.
"I wonder why everybody wants to link marriage and
happiness. If I come to like someone, it doesn't mean I don't like my husband.
But I will never feel masculine attraction from him."
I don't think marriage = Happiness either... I haven't
changed my mind since 10 years ago.
Ekuni Kaori reminded me of this girl who I dated for my
first time in my NY life. I wasn't able to speak English at first in NY. It was
easy to be friends with Eastern Asians like Koreans and Taiwanese because of our
alike appearance and close culture. There were many Korean girls who tried to
look cute and innocent, but this girls, J was different. She looked tough and
cool.
I took her out to a not fancy Vietnamese restaurant in Upper West in
Manhattan because I didn't have money and want to pretend to be rich. We talked
about what we liked and I found out she liked Ekuni Kaori. That made us start to
go out. But It was horrible that she slapped my face 3 times straight when we
broke up. Everybody thinks I did awful shit to her, but the truth was we argued
on the phone and she kept calling me. I ignored all the calls then she showed up
at my place and broke into my apartment. She slapped me as hell.
I will never get and have never gotten attracted to Korean chicks since the
moment.
공항가는길 by My Aunt Mary ※唯一歌える韓国語の歌/Only Korean song I can sing
